Angry

I'm angry at alot of doctors right now.

I know Wikipedia isn't perfect, but I was looking into genetically inherited factors in skin rashing. I found things on psoriasis. Basically, if you mix psoriasis, which I inherited from my mother, with northern swedish genes (an mostly isolated genetic grouping) there is a reasonable chance of alot of things going wrong and making for some bad, sometimes even fatal psoriasis. I don't blame my parents, there was no reason for them to have known this. I've had stiff joints since shortly after I myself developed psoriasis. Never once did I think these were connected. But it appears that I am exhibiting symptoms of a number of manifestations of psoriasis.

What REALLY makes me angry about this, is that my doctors never asked me or told me about ANY of this. They never checked to see if my immune system was ever weaked by this autoimmunity disorder. They never gave me a good answer about the bumps I sometimes get on my hands (I now know they are pustular psoriasis), and that I could in the future develop a crippling form or simply painful form of psoriatic arthritis that accompanies psoriasis (I may very well have Spondylitis, one variety of this which causes back and neck pain, can lead to knee problems and hip problems (my hip is acts funny, but it isn't like the other two areas), like mine that I have had chronically for no reason and which may also be affecting my sister). Why didn't they figure that my psoriasis could be causing the bumps? Even my nails show signs of the effects of psoriasis. My hands are a psoriasis chart and I never new. My doctors never told me that my children would be more likely to carry Type II Diabetes, or that severe enough psoriasis could be deadly to myself or my offspring. They never told me that I might experience as I grew up hypertension (I AM a very tense person most of the time, although T'ai Chi Ch'uan and Yoga have helped). They never told me about the increase of congestive heart failure rates that go with my disease. They never told me that since my psoriasis physically manifested continuously at a young age that this is generally a sign that it will be much more severe than the average person who has it. They never told me that stress itself may aggravate my psoriasis outbreaks, which I always thought was just bad luck of a break-out whenever I'd have to do something I was stressing about--and it always seemed to leave me at my worst at the wrong times because of this.

I'd bet they never told anyone else in our family either. I'd bet they never told us that if we'd become overweight that we could have worsened symptoms. I'd bet they never told them to avoid Beta blockers to help with possible hypertension or migranes, because it could lead to premature Type II diabetes in those with psoriasis. I'd guess they never said to anybody, "you know, having psoriasis of the scalp makes you much more suceptible to strept throat infections." Nor did they say anything about the effects of large amounts of alcohol on us, not that Nicole or I drink at all.

Why did they never bother to tell us anything? Why? Did they not know? Shouldn't a dermatologist know these things? Why leave out stuff so basic? Why did they fail to diagnose a number of my symptoms that now seem to be quite obvious parts of my skin disease?

Angry isn't an accurate word. I take that one back. I am furious. Every doctor I have met about a number of these conditions, even being checked in a given sitting, together, never set off a single bell. None of them asked about the connection. All had records of my psoriasis at the time. And a few dozen minutes on Wikipedia, cross-referencing articles showed me more than they ever thought to even ask about.

Students, Specific

This is about my 5 students that realy do seem to want to learn. They are what I wish all Japanese students would be more like. They are outliers. Rebels. The nail that sticks out, daring to be hammered down.

1. Kyoko Kawagoe. Name sound familiar? That's because this is Kyoko-sensei, who has partially-employed me to assist in many community events and classroom English activities, for which even with poor pay or no pay I am plenty willing to help for the sake of those in her classes (willing participants that are almost all there entirely of their own individual free will). She's one of my best students in the Screen English class with Gerald. She doesn't really count though, since she's a "sit-in" student. She's great, but sometimes she assumes that there are fewer meanings than actually exist for a word's definition.

Minor problem? Yes, but remember that she is easily one of the most influential women in a town the size of C'dA, so when she speaks, students WEIGHT what she says. We have to be very very careful when correcting her. Her reputation and the future of English in this community could be very quickly damaged by an sign that she is less than an expert in her field. From her high-point on the jagged peaks of professional life, a precipitous path she does walk. No one who shares her selfless goals of community service through teaching would wish her reputation to be marred, and let's face it, Japan loves rumor, and there are surely women and more than a few men than Kyoko must make feel entirely inadequate that would use this against her.

2. Junichi. This guy is old. Sweet old man, from what I could tell. He studies English entirely willingly, and with enthusiasm. He's what you might call a "non-traditional student." A really really non-traditional student! He too, is in Screen English.

Has great stories about life in Japan, and he loves English. He told me about how his marriage was arranged, and how he and his wife didn't really make any special attempts for the first few years to get to know eachother, but, before he knew it, he had come to love this woman, basically not much more than a roomate for years. When he realizes this, he went regular husband to Super-Junichi mode. Came up with his own style of classical romance from what I can tell. And just when he was worried about whether she would ever really like him, after months of devout dedication to her after falling in love, she confessed her feelings to him in earnest, something that can't be easy when you've been forced to be together with a stranger. He claims the last 50 years of his life could not have been any better, like a fairy tale, all because of their wonderful life together and the fact that they are so perfectly matched. An arranged marriage for political reasons, ending in true love? I would pit 1oo-1 odds against it. But in this case, I'm just teary-eyed.

3. Jun. Jun is a kinda cofused-looking guy. He is in Screen English. Good language aptitude, and a drive for understanding and growth. He finds English interesting. I suspect Gerald suspects that he is possibly thinking of becoming bisexual. Yes, I stand by that statement, haha. Doesn't get into the nitty-gritty with personal details, but I see him come in with glossaries and all kinds of odd lists for his own learning. He has his own personally crafted strategies and methods for learning that I would suspect might not be great for everyone learning in his position, but that I am sure he feels work best for him.

4. Kenji. Middle-aged non-traditional student in Screen English. As far as looks go, he's getting absolutely nowhere. However, he is a pretty sporadically poetic guy. He loves talking about English, and like the others, he like hypothesizing about the features of English in discussion, a dominant trend I've noticed in all the best students I've met here.

5. Ken. Looks like: A 50 year old Ryu, from Street Fighter II. Smart and smartly dressed like a jazz musician, he exudes coolness in a totally approachable and non-exclusivist way. He's friendly, willing to help with my mentally disabled student. Nice guy, eager to learn, but in a very traditional Japanese way. No spunk to it, just intent. You just "feel it." I think most people would just see another student. I can't put my finger on any detail about him that makes me feel certain about this, besides working diligently. Great guy though. I can feel that about him too.

Students, General

Well, I'm a few weeks in now, and getting the hang of things around here. I've got listening to tapes down to a science as far as making it time effiecient for my part time job, and I've come up with my first fully independent lesson plan and executed them for my fully-independent Oral English I. Smashing success! I set the bar, all but one of the students met it. Almost none managed to go much past the bar I set, and almost all were at or a hair beyond my goals for the class. I was actually a little shocked. Here's why:

More than 1/2 of the students in almost any university in all of Japan have come to expect college to be what it is for almost every college student in the nation: A break. It's a break between the horrors of constant study from early middle school to being able to work. What you grade in in a school matters so little, most just don't care. A student either has to make a genuine effort to try to fail, or have a foreign professor in order to actually fail a class. Students are so aware of this, that the only policy that keeps them from NEVER coming to class is our university's "strict" rule.

The rule states, and this is a translation: For regular classes (30 classes in one semester), if you miss more than 10 classes you are dropped from the class.

So, with 1 1/2 hour blocks to sit around in and do what you feel like, and your effort not mattering in 95% of all classes, and knowing that your grades don't matter, only your school, what is there to do in class? Well, if you are genuinely interested in learning after over a decade of what is called "Examination Hell" (their term, not mine), you are rare. Out of all my students in my classes, there are 5 out of about 80 that I can honestly say I believe (perhaps falsely about some of them) that they are really there to learn. Maybe not that interested, and maybe 4 of them are being forced to be in the class so are just making the best out of it, but at least appearing interested. That seems like a pretty good rate considering all of the above. The rest of the 80? Demographically speaking, about 10 have never been seen in class. At least 2 have asked to use the bathroom to me personally, and being unable to stop them if they request it, have packed their entire bags in plain sight and walked out, obviously not to return that day. Some could not hope to pass the class at ALL now that we are so far into the semester. There is no calculable way to recover that many points. We're about a 1/5 of the way through now. And those that miss are not 100% students. They are looking at obvious, unmistakable failing grades.

This is where it gets anthropologically interesting to me. Meaning I have no idea what could possibly be going through their heads. They understand the grading systems in our classes. They've seen it in mathematical formulas on the board, on paper, in Japanese, and in English, for most days of the first couple weeks. It has been QUITE clear to all of them that if they don't participate in class (about 40%-60% of the grade for my section of our department), they WILL fail. Yet, they keep coming to class, laying their heads down on the table, or texting on their cell phones. We are allowed to do nothing about this, essentially. We can make grade threats, and say we like students that do these-and-those things, and congratulate those that work hard profusely. We tell them these things, and they know them, but they students will still do nothing for the first hour and 20 of 1.5 hour class, stare off into space while you occasionally remind them of the grade repercussions, and that they will have homework if they don't finish it. At the end complain to us in class that they have too much homework from us (about 10 minutes of work which was only given because so many of them delayed as much as they could for 1.5 hours and didn't finish what they should and could have if they actually tried a tiny bit). This is about 65 of my students. 2 of my classes are composed of this demographic, 100%. They are paying top-dollar at this private university, and they know that they might be needing English to pass further entrance exams for future jobs (no lie! Examination Hell only ends once you find a serious career), and that having this skill will be essential for the kinds of jobs that most of the students think they are going into after school. After all, this is Kansai University of International Studies. We're giving them skills they will need to keep their jobs.

None seem to care either. They know these things. They know that sitting looking into space for 1 hour and 20 minutes will amount to that much time lost, and that they will either do it later or fail our classes. They make no attempt to switch classes even once registered, even though they have a week long grace period, and many will just keep coming to class hoping the grading system will magically ignore their lack of work. Come and sit all day, put no effort into attention, do nothing for 85% of it, eat lunch with some friends, then go party and spend the folks' money for enjoying college, or your gigantic private school loans. This is the life for so many. This is also why medical degrees for Japanese doctors are only trusted to come from OUTSIDE of Japan! No one would trust what you learned from almost any of these universities, even the prestigious and private ones. Don't get me wrong, we here are better than most around.

Only you can motivate yourself, when it's boiled down. I'm going to keep my chin up. I'm not worried about my teaching, strangely, I'm doing okay. What I'm worried about is that these guys are Japan's next international leaders.