A Translation and A Reflection

Today I had something...unexpected happen. As I was waiting for my last 6 or so guys to come in so I could start my class, the girls (the ones that have been gossiping loudly enough about how cute and pretty I am in class after nearly every attempt to get them to work via pep-talk and attempting to be disgustingly cute) found that I was teaching a class directly across from theirs! Our doorways are precisely aligned, and I had nowhere to escape to, as the front of the classroom was right next to the door in plain sight of the door to the other classroom. So, rather than enter their classroom and sit down, they shouted out to all the other girls in the room and loud enough that anyone in the hallway could hear, (and including all of my own students) the following (translated):

Student 1: Ohmygod! It's the really cute English teacher! Everybody, come over here, quick!

*female students flood the doorway, peeking over eachother to see a glimpse*

Students, speaking over eachother: It's Adan! Hi Adan! Hi Adaam! He's so cute! Yeah, He sure is *starting to wave at me*

A few girls simultaneously, intending collective cuteness: Hi Adan~!

Speaking over eachother again: He's like, such a cute teacher! Wow, he's your teacher! I want him to be my teacher! (*Adam's note: this further shows evidence that students care more about the "entertainment" value of of a teacher over skills*)

*this goes on for some embarassing length of time time, girls filtering in and around the doorway, dropping off their bags to return and talk about how cute I am or attempt to state in the absolute clearest of Japanese to me that I am cute, even going so far as trying to making eye contact with me.*

Then, hilariously, another girl appears: One from the English Halloween Party for Kids and from the Kyoto trip! She took one glance at my face and darted back into the classroom. (I only saw it out of the corner of my eye at this point, being that I had turned so as to discourage the students from further disrupting their own class, my class, and any in ear-shot in the long, accoustically projecting concrete hallways.)

She knew that if she was caught peeking that people would then be able to infer her dating status, or that if they happened to know that she was dating anyone or not, they might accuse her of looking for another man in the meantime. I really don't know or care which it is myself, but...no one else caught her looking, I figure, so she should be okay. Really nice girl. I am actually a little disappointed for her sake that she was one of those peeking at me. Probably no guys around here that are good enough for her!


I'm starting to figure out this "married men getting lured off by Japanese women while abroad thing though." At first, I figured since Japanese women are generally never directly or individually "hitting on" anyone, anytime, anyplace, that it must be almost entirely a thing in the hands of the men visiting Japan themselves, that they are just leacherous. Well, it might not be ENTIRELY true, I am seeing now. I'm figuring out these "passive group tactics." In a group, they are alot more willing to say just about anything, as if to eachother. The volume that they do it at determines its purpose. When it is outloud, it clarifies what they want, who they like, etc, for everyone they want to see to see. Relationships, though, are kept quiet. So by attempting "mob-cuteness" as they did with the "Hi Adam!" They sort of put themselves out there, waiting for the first reply to any of them. They say all kinds of things, they just don't make the first move, except perhaps in rare cases. Basically, making a move for these girls consitutes intense flattery, advertising for you to their friends, and making it known that they are willing.

I know already that the first taker then from that point gets mobbed and either thrown out to the wolves selflessly by the probably jealous members, believe-it-or-not (in that case it would be me), or, they grab the girl and haul her off to see what they can do about setting up the next stage of the situation as best as they can (in this case, if that were to happen, they'd probably touch up her makeup and hair in the middle of class, busting out the mirrors and makeup and hair irons and all this stuff I see them use in my early class every Monday on themselves when they don't feel like working, and would probably just ignore the teacher that is lecturing without any repercussions. Then, conveniently timing the end of class, they would try to arrange themselves in such a way as to look like they were not standing in the shared doorspace in our hallway chatting about nothing in particular for any particular reason, they part just enough that I could only get by by getting close to the right girl, or I'd have to pass through the group to find some kind of a note on me when I get to the other side, or lord-only-knows what.)

Japan is a collectivist culture. If I'm going to avoid this stuff, I have to realize that the power of the group shouldn't be underestimated, and that these girls aren't thinking about their history grades, they are thinking about husbands to be had, and adventures overseas on a free ride with the best guy they can find. Unfortunately, I fit all too many of the requirements they are looking for.

The jocks in highschool would die of shock if they saw these things happening to me now! This is all very flattering to me, but completely useless. Grading is set up in such a way that there is no way for me to possibly raise their grades based on how they gossip about me, so I know it is genuine enough. However, it is still completely useless to me except as an indication of whether or not I have something on my face. Then again, if I did, they'd try to find some adorable way of letting me know it...so nevermind!

As a final note, I could be completely wrong about my generalizations, but judging from my knowledge of the culture, this is exactly how things appear to be.